If you had been my online lover,

I could not have wooed you as I did.
I would not have written letters
in midnight blue ink on deckle edged paper,

carefully considered words from my
attic of endearments reminiscent
of a monogrammed hankie, a pressed
carnation, whiff of cologne.

Your responses inspired me to write poems:
images of holding hands across miles of longing.
You write as you speak: witty, debonair. The baritone
of your voice, the laughter in your language.

I am now convinced we would not have fallen in love
through quick emails tossed off without the struggle
to say things just right. We might have said something
we later regretted, resorted to capital letters. Set off

an argument. Hurried humdingers meant to harass
or hurt. How I would have hated you, you brash bully!
I would have heard you shouting. Bitch!
I would have yelled back. Bastard!

And I would have lost you. No trunk of four hundred
fifty-two love letters. Nothing to read over again.
Nothing to remember you by. Nothing but deleted
words. A faint memory of regret.

Jan Duncan-O’Neal is a retired librarian and storyteller living in Overland Park, Kansas. A Pushcart Nominee, she is also an editor for I-70 Review magazine. Her chapbook, Voices: Lost and Found was published in 2011 by The Lives You Touch Publications. Her work has appeared in such places as The Whirlybird Anthology of Kansas City Writers, Kansas City Voices, and Coal City Review.

*Online Lover theme inspired by poet Kavanaugh.