You say that, though you still don’t trust me, you are, momentarily, “cautiously optimistic.” What does that mean exactly? Your tone implies that I should feel a bit of relief, as if the bar I’ve been attempting to jump over has now lowered. However, I didn’t know until now that there was a bar in front of me. (Though maybe that’s what I’ve been bumping up against time and again, not knowing what it was.) I didn’t realize until now that you were so untrusting of me, and I wonder what it is about me, specifically, that you find untrustworthy, whether you are merely untrusting generally, or whether, perhaps, it’s a bit of both. In addition, I wonder what not trusting me means. What is it you are suspicious of? What is it you fear? I’m not sure I want to know. But I wonder, also, now, if maybe I should be a little less trusting of you. I wonder if maybe your intentions aren’t quite as honorable as I thought they were.
Nettie Farris lives in Floyds Knobs, Indiana and is the author of Communion (Accents Publishing, 2013). In 2011 she received the Kudzu Poetry Prize. Her work has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize.
Tags: Betrayal, e-zine, ezine, hyperbole, longing, melancholy, melancholy hyperbole, Nettie Farris, new, poem, poet, poetry, poets, submit, writing
So gosh!This is so relatable!Some events led me to open my eyes wider and firmed my resolve not to let people in…not to trust.I wrote a piece about it.